CHRONOLOGICAL PICKS

Fourth mail on 17/1/2002.

Good afternoon Sirafy…Your comments about soul love is amazing because I believe in soul mates which has got to be the most amazing joining of minds bodies and souls.  I also think that not everyone is lucky enough to find them in this life because they get in wrong relationships and miss out … What I would like to add to my life is a relationship with someone I can grow old with enjoying everything together especially laughter which I love … When I am certain this man is right I would not mind where I lived as long as I came to..(her place)..regularly.”

 

2/1

“It is so nice hearing your voice over the phone and really last night  I wanted you to stay longer.”

 

Last mail before the visit, 10/3.

“Good afternoon my love: I was so happy to see you this morning your smile always makes me smile and feel so contented inside.

Nothing you have ever said to me has offended me ever I love your words so much … My love have a wonderful day and I will speak to you later before I go home but I do not think I will be up to coming back this evening. still feel a bit weak.  But its okay because soon we will be meeting physically.

Love you so much

(Me)”

 

21/3

Right after her visit to me and before visiting her ex.

“Good afternoon my love …My heart is so sad because as I said so many times to you I wish I had a magic wand to make your life everything you would like it to be but I do not.  I think you are a wonderful and lovely man but one with many problems that have to be addressed and my logic, which now I can listen to clearly because you are not with me, tells me It would not work.”

 

28/3

 

“Good afternoon Sirafy … I have known you for such a very short space of time and in fact really only for 6 days in Cairo and Alexandria, so I do not think it unrealistic to stand back and take a look at a situation logically rather than emotionally.”

 

31/3

“I know you will eventually meet someone who is perfect for you but I am not that person … Please be happy and meet the one of your dreams then I will be so happy for you.  Forget me as a life partner but think of me as a friend that will always be there for you.”

 

30/4

“Good morning my dear friend ... Yes you upset me a few times in Egypt which made me re evaluate my thinking and then when I met my ex in Luxor I knew that I still loved him although of course it can never be.”

 

2/5

“Dear Sirafy….I know you are the sort of person that will totally love to the exclusion of all else and that is what you deserve in return … I was so wrong in trying to have a new relationship when I did not really know what my feelings would be when seeing my ex again … My feelings have changed since Luxor in so much as I did not know what I would feel when seeing him again.”

 

 

On 6/5, she betrayed and closed the door at the time I said to her: ‘you have blocked my emotion … You have changed my beauty measures, no beauty is interesting in another woman, as if beauty of the world and GOD’s creations is there in you only …I have deposited my ideals in you … You have upset me finding a better lovely wife through the web after three years of trials’.

 

May be she got conceited with all this talk the last days, which I didn’t know of her during our communications period. She even didn’t reply my phone callings over a long time. I was shocked, deleted my ads on the internet, the dreams were turned nightmares, life blackened in my eyes those days, tears flew inside my chest for a piece of my soul was lost (her eyes were in tears for us in similar occasions), and sometimes the evil thoughts struggle on my mind, she was not worthy of my love, dominance day after day rushing the zero point. Again, hope someday she can heal my evil thoughts, and forgive me.

 

For sorrow a beautiful thing was frozen or has gone with the wind, because of no personal reasoning but money and circumstances! She came to me while arranging for the engagement ceremony of my son (she traveled back home on the same day of the ceremony), was not having money except for gasoline and the first cup of tea on the edge of Nile. After that, the visit, A to Z, was on her own including gasoline and cigarettes, which depressed me allover her stay, didn’t do good, and she was upset the few times she pointed out to. Told her many times, the first work, first call, first chat…etc, couldn’t be perfect. She wanted our first meeting a perfect one against nature of things, ignoring differences in culture, customs, religion and growth, those I was enough tolerating.

 

GOD was there always caring of me, guiding and helping knowing what is going on around, facing death and hard times, as his Almighty did all over my life. Retrieved my loneliness after a while and resumed my search for beauty and love. Who knows?

Thanks my GOD.

 

Her magnetic eyes

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks your  visit J

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A bit of her:

Code of Love.

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